Thursday, June 28, 2012

Andrew Says The Darndest Things

This is Andrew.  Just about the cutest six year old on the planet.  Forget the "just about", he is the cutest.  There, I said it.
One of the things I love most about my Drew-drews, is his hilarious sense of humor.  The kid is funny.  So funny that most of the time I'm trying not to laugh when he's misbehaved... nothing undermines a Mommy's authority like choking back giggles. Sometimes I have to leave the room.

My boys have all been infamous for saying random goofy stuff.  I've been jotting down the funnies since my oldest was an itty bitty.  I get a good collection, and then I make a scrapbook page.  10 years later, we still get a kick out of Trevor's quote: "I'll take my training wheels off when I'm in college."  

If you've got a kiddo that keeps 'em rolling in the aisles, do yourself a HUGE favor, and write the funny stuff down!  You'll be so glad you did someday, no joke.  If you're not a scrapbooker, at least type them up & give your comedian a copy when he's older.  Better yet, read them out loud at the wedding breakfast!

Do you need a good laugh today? Of course you do.  Here are some of Andrew's gems from the last year or so.  You're welcome in advance °Ü°

Andrew Says The Darndest Things

"Mom, would you miss me if I fell down the toilet?"

Me: "Good night Andrew, I love you!"  Andrew: "Hey Mom?  Since you love me so much, can we go to Cafe Rio tomorrow?"

"If we didn't have cheeks, our food would fall out."

"I only poke Melanie when I see a slug bug.  If you hit girls the police will under arrest you cause it's against the law."

"I wish I had three arms.  That would be so cool."

"Wanna hear a joke?  Why did the Jedi kill the monkey?  Cause he hated monkeys!"

"I don't want to wear stupid idiotic pants!!!"

Me: "Andrew, get ready for church really fast!"  Andrew: "But Mom!!!  I thought you said only eight and older fast!!!"

"I wish everyday was spring break."

"I put the straw in my nose & sniffed & the milk came up!"

Me: "Look Andrew!  It's the wishing star!  What do you wish for?"
Andrew: "Pizza!!!  Pepperoni Pizza!!!"

Andrew had some toy handcuffs & said: "I want to under arrest something."

"Mom, I would marry you if I could, but Daddy already did."

"It's dangerous to read newspapers on the toilet, cause you might fall in."

In his prayers one night: "Bless all our family to get to heaven someday, and that we'll have fun at the second coming."

As we got soaked by a rainstorm on the way out to our car: "I told you we shouldn't have gone to the mall!  (big sigh) But girls just love shopping."

Me: "Andrew, you better put your scooter away so someone doesn't steal it in the night."  Andrew: "Who would want to steal that dumb old scooter?!"

Daddy let Andrew help pull the car out of the driveway.  Andrew said: "Hey Dad, maybe I can drive to church next week!"  Dad: "No, you can't drive on big roads."  Andrew: "Don't worry Dad!  I'm five!"

Me: "Andrew, have you listened to a word I've said today?"  Andrew: "No."

"Mom, when the twins die, can I have their room?"

Andrew: "Mom, can I go to a friend's house?"  Me: "No, it's Sunday."  Andrew: "Awwwww, freakin' heck."

Here's Andrew's scrapbook page from when he was a fledgling comedian:


  1. What a cutie! I loved the one about the mall. Lol:-P
    (this is your cousin Katie btw)

  2. Thanks Katie! Baby Glenn has Humphries in his blood, so get that pen & paper ready... he's bound to say some funny stuff haha :)